Webolg Entry!!1

Dear Harry Kewell,

You were a good player at Leeds, and since you`ve moved to Liverpool, you`ve been absolutely rubbish. Worry about the fact that you couldn`t lift a ball if it was nailed to your foot instead of taking better players than you`ll ever be to court. And get a haircut.

Yours,
Major Susan Quiggle III, MBE.

p.s. why not transfer to Altrincham FC - perhaps the talented Frank Sidebottom could give you some lessons




Dear Mr.Coldplay,

Well, what can I say about your new album... bland would probably be the best way to describe it. I liked Parachutes; it had a nice depressing undercurrent. A Rush Of Blood was well produced, with a couple of good songs and a lot of easy-listening pop. The new album looks cool in a sort of Radiohead "oh the future`s coming to kill us" way - but once again it`s more middle-of-the-road background music.

This is a band I can see becoming "hard rock" for the chav masses. For god`s sake - if writing songs is so boring, stop doing it.

Yours meatily,

Donald Carp